When you start thinking about what you want your life to become it should feel great. Sure no life is ever perfect or without its downsides, but it should excite you to think about what it will be like when you are living it. But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you think about your dream life and while you get excited there is also the echo of a heavy feeling in you stomach.
DON’T PANIC! This is normal. For starters change freaks us out, we are human after all. (Well I am assuming that if you are reading this you are human. If not come show me the stars.) The second reason is that there may be hidden concerns about what it will be like when we get our dream life that we don’t really want to look at very closely. We tend to want to believe that if we just make the right choices or get the right life everything will be perfect. Yeah right.
For me the first step was figuring out what was bothering me in the first place. So more questions for ourselves. Yay what fun, (feel the sarcasm.) But I’ve made a Manifestation Blocks Worksheet you can print out and use.
1) What challenges will having this dream bring to my life?
It’s likely you’ve already thought about how awesome your dream life will be otherwise why would you even want it. The tricky part comes when you start thinking about the downsides. The obvious drawbacks will come pretty quickly, but her I want you to really dig. For instance I want to live a nomadic life on a sailboat. Cruising around the Caribbean or just floating off Key West for a while. The list of pros is obvious and numerous. Great weather, travel, incredible scenery, I could go on and on. The downsides are also numerous. Tiny living space, a home that constantly moves even when the water is choppy, a wet and likely leaky home. When you need to do repairs, which on a boat is often you are working in a small space and can’t get away from the mess. Believe me I could go on and on. When I made this list I dug down for every single tiny con I could come up with, and it was a very long list.
For me just making the list helped, it caused me to look at what I wanted and figure out if I thought the freedom would be worth the downsides. Obviously I decided “Yes, it is worth it.” If you know what the downsides are you can prepare for them and (hopefully) not find yourself living your dream life saying “This isn’t what I thought it would be like.” I have an aunt who is always saying that “The one thing I’ve learned is that nothing is ever like I pictured it.” That is always going to be true since we can’t know every aspect of a life we haven’t lived. But by stopping to really think it through we can minimize the surprises.
2) Who will be affected by my decision?
This is another one that seems easy at first, but is really more involved that it seems. Lets say your dream is to run your own business. Your spouse and kids will be affected because your day to day life will change as well as your financial situation. Your boss will have to replace you at your current place of employment. The coworker you carpool with, as well as your other coworkers will also be affected. They will be happy for you, jealous that you are changing your life, sad that they aren’t the ones making changes. The same goes for your friends, you may have less time to spend with them too.
This list surprised me. I had expected the previous list to be long, because no life is without its flaws, but when I really sat down and thought about all the people who would be affected by my choices, (even in a tiny way,) I realized that our choices have a far wider reach than I first thought.
Again once you make the list it pulls the negatives out of the dark and brings them in to the light where you can accept them. Or find a way around the things you can’t accept. Hopefully this helps and you will be able to think about your dream life (warts and all,) with positive emotions. Let me know if this exercise is as helpful to you as it was for me.
3) What do I need to change in my life to make this happen?
Everything worth having takes work and sacrifice. Thinking about the changes we need to make in our life now to make something happen can be difficult too. We (or at least I) can push back and ignore the next logical steps if it is something that is going to complicate my life or make me uncomfortable. For instance I have put off doing extra work because it means that I would have less time to help with the wolves and that would lead to me having people coming at me from multiple directions telling me that I wan’t helping enough anymore. Or at least that is what I expected. Now I would love to say that I toughed up and did it anyway, but we have more help moving in to help with the wolves. That frees me up quite a bit.
It could be a matter of getting up a couple of hours earlier, or staying up a little later to work. Or of getting a neighborhood teenager or your spouse to ride herd on the kids for a couple of hours so you can get stuff done. This is a place to think about the practical changes, big and small, that you can make. And find a way to work around your resistance.
4)What emotional needs are driving this dream?
Okay this one is kind of a bummer and maybe not really necessary. But we don’t actually want things, we want things that make us feel a certain way. There may be an easier way to get what we want. For me I know that a lot of my desires can be met while still living up here, and just finding a way to change my lifestyle. But while that is a possibility it wasn’t one I really wanted to explore. Still I did and ultimately decided that while it may be an option I wish to explore in the future the big thing that I crave right now is freedom. The freedom to just pick up and go, and the ability to travel without having to leave my animals behind. That is the one thing that I couldn’t have while living up here.
I believe that forewarned is forearmed and that by being aware of our hidden resistances we can bypass problems that we might face on our journey to our dream life. Of course that just means we will find other problems, but hey what is life without a few challenges right.