This was actu­al­ly writ­ten a cou­ple of months ago, but didn’t end up get­ting pub­lished. I thought about delet­ing it, but thought that it might help some­one in the future who is sur­round­ed by naysayers.

I was hav­ing a con­ver­sa­tion with my moth­er the oth­er day. And dur­ing the con­vo she said “I know you want to get off the moun­tain too,” and I was so excit­ed. She sound­ed sym­pa­thet­ic and I thought “Yes, nows the time to tell her I made an offer on a boat.” Then she said, “I keep think­ing if I get the base­ment cleaned out you could…” Inflat­ed from the brief flare of hope I’d just felt I went crash­ing down.

As I’ve said I love the moun­tain. Truth­ful­ly if I could stay up here, work up here and have enough mon­ey that I could run to Lex­ing­ton once a week to do all my shop­ping I might nev­er leave. Or at least do my trav­el­ing in short stints instead of spend­ing long peri­ods of time in one place on a boat. I mean I miss the ocean, but set up prop­er­ly I could live on the moun­tain. It is the over­all area that is wear­ing on me.

My moth­er is usu­al­ly a sup­port­ive per­son. I mean she has naysay­er ten­den­cies, but would always sup­port me, even if she thought I was nuts. But she is just being real­ly stub­born on this one. I think she believes that  my life is easy now, and that I just don’t know how easy it is. And while I admit I don’t have to pay rent and that is nice, there is a lot of stress that comes with liv­ing up here. She isn’t here when I am awake in the mid­dle of the night lis­ten­ing to the barks try­ing to deci­pher if that is a nor­mal “Hey there is a deer!” bark, or if it some­thing I need to get up and go check on. Or dur­ing the storms, both at night and dur­ing the day, when I am run­ning up to the sec­ond lev­el to make sure no trees have gone down over the fence lines. Or hey the con­stant stress dur­ing the win­ter over whether I will be able to get off the moun­tain, or not. Or whether we will be able to dri­ve up the hill, or if we are walk­ing on snow and ice to go feed the wolves. Car­ry­ing dog food and water with us as we go.

Or the wor­ry dur­ing the spring that I won’t make it to work due to the flood­ing roads, or that the ground under the fences might wash out. Sum­mer brings the fleas, ticks and wor­ry about some of the old­er ani­mals in the heat. Though they all have shade and plen­ty of water. There is also the con­stant clean­ing of the water buck­ets due to the sun caus­ing algae build up in the buck­ets. Fall isn’t with­out its issues either, but I think I have made my point. The phys­i­cal, men­tal and emo­tion­al toll that liv­ing up here takes is hard. But the peo­ple who don’t live here seem to think that it is no big deal. That we just throw food at the ani­mals once a day and we are done. No amount of explain­ing seems to help.

It isn’t iso­lat­ed to just my moth­er. My grand­moth­er keeps say­ing, “Things are about to get eas­i­er for you.” This has been going on for years. The fact that they actu­al­ly are about to get eas­i­er in no way lessens my weariness.

Let me state for the record, I am not an idiot! I know that I don’t pay rent now. The idea of liv­ing on a sail­boat in Key West wasn’t some drunk­en dream. I want­ed a boat, and I want­ed it to be some­place where it was warm enough year round to not need to be hooked up to a dock for heat. A sail­boat at anchor with solar pan­els, will take more mon­ey to set up in the begin­ning than an apart­ment, but after that your expens­es are min­i­mal. I mean you still have boat main­te­nance, but you have that at a dock too.

Does it have to be Key West? No, but again it needs to be pret­ty far south and I grew up in Key West. I know the city, I know sev­er­al peo­ple down there and I can get by with­out a car. I spend at least $50 a week on gas, add $100 a month for insur­ance, add in tires, oil changes and oth­er main­te­nance issues and a car is a huge mon­ey suck.

So here is the bot­tom line. Liv­ing in Key West would allow me to live at anchor with­out rent, which is what makes liv­ing in Key West so hard. It would allow me to live with­out a car. The island is small and even if I am doing major gro­cery shop­ping, or buy­ing some­thing I can’t trans­port on my bike Taxi’s are cheap and plen­ti­ful and almost all have bike racks. And Key West has a very low unem­ploy­ment rate.  An added bonus, lots of prac­tice sail­ing and small islands to prac­tice things like anchor­ing under sail. Plus Key West is just my kind of crazy.

And I have to admit it is becom­ing a thing for me. If some­one tells me I can’t do some­thing I become that much more deter­mined to prove them wrong. And that is what this is becom­ing. A chal­lenge. I guess I should be grate­ful for that.  Because it just push­es me that much hard­er. And when I get ready to head to the west­ern Caribbean I will prob­a­bly call her after I am already there instead of telling her in advance.