Okay to be real here I try to stay positive and usually end up feeling kind of neutral. But I am human and I have bad days. And I can tell you that when I get in a mood and start getting negative, it usually lasts for a few days as I stew over whatever has gotten under my skin and I end up attracting major bad juju. Last week, the day after I finished my new vision board, I got on the highway to have breakfast with my mother and blew the motor in my car.
Yep, I spent over an hour sitting on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck, and am probably looking at (at least) a $1500 repair bill. While this does seem to happen every time I start to get in a funk I can’t help but think that this time is different. One of the things I try to do is ask my guides and the universe “What would it take…?” I don’t really want to spend major money on a car repair for a car with little resale value, or buy a car instead of a boat.
So I feel like it is Saturday, I’m at a great big tipping point. (If you don’t get my Doctor Who references I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.) I am considering just borrowing my Mom’s convertible, and making the jump to the boat sooner rather than later. I can’t help, but wonder if this is the universe’s way of saying “Get up and get your ass in gear. It’s time to MOVE!” I am upsetting some of my family, the people who didn’t think I would really leave. For years there was the wolves to take care of and I hated to leave them behind, but now things are changing and I can’t help, but think that I could be writing your from the cockpit of a sailboat in a couple of months.
Typically when I get whammied I try not to let it get to me. Just dwelling on the bad thing can cause my to vibrations to enter a death spiral. And I am not one to spend a lot of time wondering why something happened. It seems to much like being the victim, like asking “Why me?” Maybe I’m wrong and there is something back behind the scenes causing things for a reason, but I’d rather have the illusion of control.
The mechanic was supposed to let me know about a possible used engine from his supplier last week, but I haven’t heard. I am not going to put a new engine in the car. It is old and I am not going to put that much money in a vehicle I will only be using for a few more months. On the other hand the current plan requires coming back at least once and I will need something to drive then.
So I guess here is my question. Do you think that we create everything? Or do somethings happen for a reason?